So this morning I was sitting at the bus stop with the boys ( we sit in the car because I spent over a decade standing at bus stops, thanks) listening to the radio and chatting, as we do almost every school day. We often have the most interesting of conversations in the car, this morning being no exception. The following is a retelling of this morning’s adventure into the brain of a 7 year old. Everything in parentheses is thoughts of mine or expressions of the kids, like stage directions when reading a play, you get the idea.
Me: BoyChild I, help your brother on the bus not squish his project please. BoyChild II, you worked really hard on those pinwheels and they won’t spin if they get all squished, so you are going to carry them super carefully right?
BoyChild II: Right, I want to show all my friends my cool pinwheels and have enough for everybody. (As there are 41 pinwheels I think he’s safe, but I’m not having this debate again at this hour)
BoyChild I: (looking extremely put upon) But BC II never sits still, (cue subtle whine-low pitch since high pitch has been know to cause foaming at his mother’s mouth & this really embarrassing twitch) he’ll squish them before he even gets to his seat…
BoyChild II: (interrupting in an indignant tone) I can be still. I just don’t like being still, but I’m gonna take care of my pinwheels. (arms cross defiantly) I don’t need your help.
Me: (also interrupting, before WWIII starts in the back of my SUV) I Know you’ll do a good job, I just thought BC I could help you remember (shooting dirty look at BC I who doesn’t look at all remorseful) to be careful and to help keep other kids off your bag. (Since as anyone who’s ever ridden a public school bus knows, when any kid gets on a school bus they suddenly act as though they have never been inside a motorized vehicle/never seen another child)
BoyChild I: (still with that you are so unreasonable face) He climbs over the seats.
BoyChild II: I DO NOT!
BoyChild I: You do all over the place.
BoyChild II: (to me in a very serious, I’m gonna use simple words pronounced very carefully so you can understand Mom voice)I have never flown on the bus.
Me & BoyChild I: What?
BoyChild II: (again with the careful enunciation & serious face) I do not fly over the bus, I ride on the bus, I can’t fly. BoyChild I is telling a lie.
Me: (trying to match the somberness of his expression, but snickering just the same) He didn’t say you fly over the bus, he said you crawl all over the bus seats.
(Now BC I & I are laughing)
BoyChild II: (still very somber) Oh, well that is true.
Me: (everything is funnier to me in the am so now I’m laughing at the ridiculous look on his face & horrified that he might actually be crawling over bus seats) So you do crawl over the bus seats? That would not be safe at all! (wondering if this is happening where was my note home/phone call etc)
BoyChild II: Oh, look! The bus is here. (goes to get on bus)
So I really don’t know what havoc my babies do when they get on that big orange bus, I assume one would tattle on the other if it was extreme. I guess I’ll have to ask again tonight. Of course, at least he’s not flying over the bus…